Having listened to a string of confessions these past eight
years as a priest and as a confessor has taught me an important lesson. I’ve
come to realise that the greatest temptation faced by Christians is not one
that concerns any of the ten commandments, that is to lie, to steal, to murder,
to commit adultery or to do this or that. In fact, the most insidious and most
common temptation of all is to despair. Many penitents often confessed that
they struggle with the temptation to give up trying to be good. They are
constantly tempted to see the futility of their efforts and lack of efficacy of
the Sacrament of Penance. They lose all hope in their ability to overcome their
own weaknesses and sin. They are overwhelmed by a sense of futility and defeat.
Or as Mark Twain put it succinctly, despair is “a time when one’s spirit is
subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm swept
desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.”
The emotion of despair can paralyse and debilitate even the
strongest of souls. If there is one emotion that unites us, both penitent and
confessor, saint or sinner, it is despair. I confess that I too have fallen
victim to its power and influence on countless occasions. There were many
instances where I too prayed for deliverance, even if it came in the form of
death. More than just a sense of personal defeat, despair signifies for us the
failure of God. Despair convinces our hearts that our circumstances are bigger
than God’s all-encompassing power. Despair is used by Satan to cause us to
doubt God’s goodness, fear God’s sovereign plan, and reject God’s promises
which is the basis of hope. Despair immobilises our spirits making us feel
drained over past events, pessimistic about future possibilities, and
discouraged about our present conditions.
In the First Reading, we find the great prophet Elijah in
such a predicament as he experiences a similar despondency. Elijah fled Mt
Carmel in fear because of the evil Queen Jezebel’s threats. When Elijah arrived
at the broom tree, he was exhausted, depressed, and ready to die. What
was to be a victory for God and Elijah over Baal and his prophets turned into
Elijah fleeing for his life from Jezebel and her henchmen. On Mt Carmel,
Elijah seizes the day and performs a miraculous victory over the 450 prophets
of the pagan god Baal. But instead of a decisive victory over the forces of
paganism, it would soon turn into a Pyrrhic one. Jezebel would seek revenge
over the death and failure of her prophets. She hunts down Elijah with a
vengeance. It is no wonder that the latter sinks into despair over Israel’s
apostasy and his seeming failure to change the course of history and turn the
event into God’s favour. Israel did not respond to Elijah’s call to revival.
Elijah is distraught over their inaction and spiritual declension. Elijah is
baffled by Israel’s lack of repentance after God mighty displays of power on
Mt. Carmel.
And so we find Elijah, of all places, in the middle of a
desolate and unforgiving desert, huddled underneath a broom tree. Scared,
frightened, disillusioned, depressed, broken and tired. I understand
Elijah's "tired," I understand the weariness, the exhaustion of both
mind and body, the point where we are so overcome by all that we've been
through and all that lays ahead of us that we just feel like we'd rather lay
down and die then to continue on another day. Elijah was totally vulnerable and
exposed – exposed to the murderous whims of a madwoman, exposed to the
heartbreaking “let-down” that always follows a pointless victory. And
perhaps most poignantly, as if to add insult to injury, exposed to the harsh
elements of the desert – the wind, sun, heat and sand – because the broom tree
in which he found himself under offered no protection from those sorts of
things. None. That broom tree was more than a sorry excuse for
shelter. It was a metaphor for the depths of his misery. And while
it’s true that Elijah did some pretty powerful things in his time, here he now
is – huddled in the fetal position under a broom tree, of all things, at the
lowest point of his life.
The good news is that the Lord knows when we're weary. He
sees when we're coming to the end of ourselves, he knows when we've had all we
can take and when we feel like we just can't go on, and it is in our weakest
moments that He is His strongest. God comes to us when we are huddled beneath
our own broom tree wishing for an end to our misery. He will send Angels in the
form of friends and situations to minister to us, He will send ravens to feed
us, He will hold us in His arms and, if necessary, He will pick us up and carry
us to where we need to be.
This is why we need to come to celebrate mass every Sunday
and as frequent as possible. It is at the mass that we receive the life giving
bread of Jesus, his own body, his own flesh given for the life of the world. It
is at the mass that we come as broken people, sinners, people who have
experienced failure and despair and on the brink of hopelessness in order that
we may celebrate the power of the Paschal Mystery, where we may once again die
with Christ in order that we may rise to life with Him. It is at the mass that
we will receive nourishment for our hunger, strength for our weakness, hope for
our despair, and consolation for our sorrow. It is at the mass that we can experience
the renewal of our wounded spirits through the gift of the Spirit of God. It is
at mass that we will receive the invitation given to Elijah under the broom
tree, "Get up and eat, else the journey will be too long for you!" It
is at the mass that we meet this God who draws us to himself and to Jesus. It
is at the mass that we will receive new life, imperishable life, eternal life!
Blessed John Paul gives us a beautiful paragraph in his
encyclical letter entitled The Church Draws Her Life from the Eucharist (No.
60): "Every commitment to holiness, every activity aimed at carrying out
the Church's mission, every work of pastoral planning, must draw the strength
it needs from the Eucharistic mystery and in turn be directed to that mystery
as its culmination. In the Eucharist we have Jesus, we have his redemptive
sacrifice, we have his resurrection, we have the gift of the Holy Spirit, we
have adoration, obedience and love of the Father. Were we to disregard the Eucharist, how could we
overcome our own deficiency?"
When life brings us trouble, like Elijah, it is not hard to
imagine how we can easily get scared and discouraged. It’s important to
remember that our relationship with God does not come with a guarantee of
happiness and easy living. There will be days when you’ll find yourself “under
a broom tree wishing you were dead.” As Jesus put it in his last supper with
his disciples, “In this world you will have trouble…” All of us know that all
too well. Fortunately, Jesus went on to finish that sentence by saying, “…but
take heart, I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33) The Eucharist becomes for
us the guarantee and proof of this certain hope. Every week, when we come to
receive the Eucharistic Lord at communion, we hear this same promise, “Take
heart, I have overcome the world!” In the Eucharist, we will find a remedy for
despair, an antidote for hopelessness. In the Eucharist, we are asked to look
beyond the hazy stormy days of our lives in order that we may gaze into
eternity in the presence of God, an eternity waiting just beyond the storms of
this life. In the Eucharist, we remember that we are indeed the beloved
Children of God and that Christ has offered his life as an aromatic sacrifice
for us. In the Eucharist, we will find the pleasant shade of the broom tree, a
place of renewal, a place of rejuvenation, a place of healing, a place where we
will be made whole once again!
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