A Sweet Yoke of Harmony

Solemnity of the Holy Family

One of the most iconic Catholic traditions of Christmas is the Christmas crèche, or the nativity scene. This year marks the 800th anniversary of the first crèche which was erected in the year 1223 by none other than St Francis of Assisi. St Francis’ pioneering crèche featured real animals and a real family, not resin or plastic figurines. The crèche was St Francis’ attempt at bringing Bethlehem to our doorsteps as it was no longer safe for pilgrims to make a journey to the Holy Land to visit the holy shrines. You may agree that this year seems to feel like déjà vu, especially for those who had planned to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land this year or the next, only to find their plans cancelled or changed due to the outbreak of war in Israel. So, rest assured. Even if you cannot experience the Holy Land physically, you have a chance to experience it liturgically during the season of Christmas… or in your homes.

The Christmas crèche is not like any other Christmas decoration. In fact, it’s not meant to be a decoration. It is a prayer corner. Here, we are invited to prayerfully contemplate the various figurines contained within the scene, the members of the Holy Family at its very heart and centre. And so, we see the humble figures of Mary and Joseph kneeling before the manger gazing lovingly upon their newborn son, the Son of Mary, the Son of God. One could say that this must be one of the most ancient family portraits. The whole scene reaffirms two wonderful truths. The first reminds us of God’s immense trust for this couple, that He would deign it fitting to entrust His only Son to two human beings, a woman and a man, wife and husband. The second is that if a family was the cause of humanity’s downfall, another family would be at the heart of humanity’s redemption.

Joseph and Mary’s family life were far from ordinary or even ideal, by modern standards. The beginnings of their married and family life were already marked by disastrous omens – a suggestion of conception out of wedlock, the threat of divorce, dislocation and homelessness, economic poverty and to top it all - a hostile environment that posed the greatest threat to both the safety and welfare of the couple and their newborn child. In today’s world, all these would be interpreted as unfavourable factors that would warrant either delaying the marriage, postponing the start of a family, calling it quits or even justify the abortion of the foetus within the womb. In fact, it would take much less these days to justify any of the above actions. But something amazing took place. Instead of turning their backs on each other and on the child, Mary’s fiat and Joseph’s acceptance of the Incarnation – indeed the man and woman’s loving obedience to God’s will, triumphed at the end. Their love for God, which outweighed self-interests and societal pressures, served as the wellspring for their own steadfast love and provided a rich sanctuary for the Christ Child.

Mary and Joseph were both significant and necessary influences in the life of Jesus – a child needs both his father and his mother. Mary and Joseph remained side-by-side, nurturing and protecting the Son of God as He “grew in wisdom.” Yet Scripture hints that they are asked to play distinctive roles. Mary watches and listens to all the wondrous events that accompany the birth of her Son. After the visit of the shepherds and Magi, we see the natural contemplative in the person of Mary who “treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.” Joseph, for his part, receives messages from angels, who direct him to take action to protect his family. His readiness and courage to respond immediately without hesitation proved his manliness and reaffirmed his paternal qualities. Joseph was never the absent father. His humility shines forth through his willingness to be obedient to God’s will. In Joseph, we understand that truly “being a Man”, is not doing it “my way,” but always obedient to ‘God’s ways.’

Thus, these figures assembled in the Nativity scene, call us back not only to the mystery of the Incarnation, to the joyous event of Christmas, but to the very origins of creation itself. We come to recognise that the crown of God’s creation after He set in place all fixtures and wonders of the universe is not just man alone, but a man, both male and female, made in the image of God, and entrusted with the first commandment to come together in marriage and to form a family. What does it mean, though, that man as male and female has been created in the image and likeness of God? This simple verse in the Bible affirms that both male and female, while fully equal as the image of God, are nonetheless distinct in the manner of their possession of the image of God. This is what we call the complementarity of man and woman. Therefore, family itself becomes a sign that points to the very wellspring of love, the Holy Trinity – One God in Three Persons. The family is an icon of the Most Holy Trinity.

The necessity of celebrating such a feast where the family is the focus is more apparent today when we consider how counter cultural marriage and family life have become. Contemporary culture is challenging the most vital aspects of the existence of the human being, in ways that go so far as to overturn our understanding of human nature, and particularly of human sexual identity and relations between the sexes. Contemporary culture is proposing and imposing models for sexual identity and relations between the sexes that would ultimately mean redefining marriage and the family, to the extent of destroying both. Contemporary culture cannot accept that man is made in the image and likeness of God. Contemporary culture has no place for God and His kind. Man must be his own god, or nothing else matters. For this reason, contemporary society has no place for the traditional family because the family and the mutual obligations of its members remind our society of God and His demands of us.

Today, with the Holy Family as our model, we must reaffirm once again that the complementarity of man and woman is at the root of marriage, not prideful autonomy, not self-serving motives seeking to satisfy one’s personal happiness. Thus, when we arbitrarily decide to take either the man, husband and father, or woman, wife, and mother out of the equation of marriage and family, it would have destructive consequences. For the Incarnation to take place, for the Word to take flesh, the Son of God must have a human father and human mother. In the human family of Joseph and Mary, we see again how God brings the Divine into the human realm.

The Blessed Virgin Mary and St Joseph, the woman and man who wait before the manger in our homes and in our churches, affirm the beauty of this daily path of married love — this school of virtue — and they testify against “the culture of the temporary,” which Pope Francis said, has wreaked the most havoc in poor communities. Therefore, the feast we celebrate today is so important to reaffirm once again the beautiful original plan of God at creation, a plan that is not subject to the fleeting changes of fad and fashion, precisely because God had “forged the covenant of marriage as a sweet yoke of harmony and an unbreakable bond of peace” (Preface for Marriage). In the nuptial blessings contained in the Wedding liturgy, we are comforted by the promise that the blessings endowed by God on marriage and family life is “not forfeited by original sin nor washed away by the flood.” May the Nativity figures of the Blessed Virgin Mary, St Joseph and the Christ Child in our little prayer corner inspire us to foster and embrace the distinctive gifts we share in our marriages and families and spur us to help others, especially families in crisis, see their own salvation in the steadfast love of the Holy Family.

God is with us

Fourth Sunday of Advent Year A

If you’ve ever had the opportunity to walk into an Orthodox Church, your senses will be immediately assaulted by a delightful riot of colours - colourful icons lining the walls, and with the largest concentration of them on the iconostasis, the icon laced screen which separates the nave of the church from the sanctuary where the holy mysteries are celebrated. But one icon stands out and provides an easy point of focus to any visitor because it is usually present in the upper part of the altar, the apsidal vault, the focal point of any church. What does this image show, and what is behind its name?


The icon shows the Mother of God from the waist up, facing us, with her hands lifted up to the level of her head, elbows bent. From time immemorial this gesture has signified a prayerful appeal to God, and still are sometimes, called Oranta (Latin for praying). The Christ-child, Emmanuel, is depicted in a circle of light at her bosom. It almost has a fish bowl effect which allows us to peer into the womb of the Blessed Virgin. But instead of a not fully formed foetus, we are presented with a miniature version of an adult Christ (minus the facial hair) with His hands extended in benediction. Although first timers would conclude that this is an icon of the Holy Mother of God, a more reflective scrutiny gives the impression of Mary presenting us with Christ, and our attention is drawn – as always with icons of the Theotokos – to her Son, our Saviour. Mary is merely the frame, Christ her son is the masterpiece.

Though it has several names, the most common name for this icon is the Lady of the Sign. It derives its name from this passage which we just heard in the first reading: ‘The Lord himself, therefore, will give you a sign. It is this: the maiden is with child and will soon give birth to a son whom she will call Immanuel, a name which means “God-is-with-us.”’

This sign was a kind of a super bonus which God decided to give to Ahaz, even though the latter chose not to ask for it. For those who know the back story of Ahaz, this sudden refusal to ask God for a sign did not come from a good place, as if Ahaz did it out of humble obedience to God. In fact, Ahaz is considered to be one of the worst kings of Judah, and his own personal faults were compounded by an equally evil wife, Jezebel. Together, they epitomised the couple from hell. So, why would God “reward” this evil king with this promise of a sign?

Ahaz was about to be forced into an alliance, in a vain attempt to oppose the crushing military power of Babylon. For you Black Panther fans out there, think of this as something similar to the proposed alliance between Wakanda and Talokan - a marriage doomed for failure. The prophet Isaiah goes to Ahaz and warns him that the alliance would be fatal: he had better trust in the Lord rather than in human machinations. Isaiah promises a sign, which Ahaz refuses, not because he has a change of heart and does not want to put God to the test. The real reason for the refusal is simple - he does not want to be convinced! He doesn’t want to change his mind. But God will have none of this. Ahaz will get a sign, even if he chooses to reject it, because the sign will have a significance far greater than this political conundrum which Ahaz is facing. It would be a sign which will herald salvation, not just for Ahaz or for this moment but for all generations to come.

What is this sign? The original Hebrew simply reads, ‘A girl is with child and will bear a son’, indicating that within a few months the threat will vanish and Jerusalem will be convinced that God is on their side – hence the boy will be called Emmanuel, “God-is-with-us.”. But the Greek translation of the Hebrew, made some 200 years before the birth of Jesus, translates ‘The virgin (or maiden) is with child’, which the evangelist Matthew sees as a prophecy of the birth of Jesus from the Virgin Mary.

In the gospel, we have another man who is promised a sign but this man is the diametrical moral opposite of Ahaz in the Old Testament. Though he is a descendant of Ahaz and King David, St Joseph is described as a “man of honour,” or in some translations a “righteous man”. Unlike, his notorious ancestor, Joseph puts up no resistance to the angel’s message through the medium of a dream: ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ And St Matthew then adds the additional editorial note that this was to fulfil Isaiah’s prophecy: ‘The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel.’

Although the prophecy says that “they will call him Emmanuel,” Mary and Joseph didn’t give their son that name. Instead, they followed the directions given specifically to them to name Him Jesus. As seen in today’s passage, the meaning of Emmanuel is ‘God-is-with-us.’ The promised child was given the name of Jesus, which means ‘God-saves.’ There is no contradiction between the two. God is with us not in some dormant or passive way. He is with us for one singular purpose - to save us.

So, today, even if you are not ready for a sign or feel any need for a sign, even if you have not asked for one, know this, that God will give you a sign; indeed, He has given you one, the only one that truly matters - His Son Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. If you’ve ever asked for a sign from God, especially when you are at the crossroads and at a moment of decision, know this to be true - God has given you the sign: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel.”

Think about it. Isn’t this the sign you’ve always craved? Haven’t your hearts been asking for nothing less than this – that God should know what it’s like to be you, to understand your deepest pain, your hardship, and your daily struggles. To learn what it means to be here, to be in your shoes, to be with us. That was the promise and this is the sign. God would come. And soon, very soon, we will celebrate His virgin birth. He came here to die. He came to free us from this world of sin. He came not just to be with us, but to make it so that we could forever be with Him. With Christians throughout the world and through the centuries, let us cry:

O Come O Come Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here,
Until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Tried, tested and proven in Crisis

Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

It’s tough coming to church on a Sunday when you have a family. Waking up the kids when they want to sleep in, getting them dressed and fed, making sure you don’t lose your cool in the process. Or you’ve just gotten into an argument the night before with your spouse and you can’t picture yourself sitting in the same car with the person and lasting the entire ride to church without speaking a word. It’s tough enough having a family in modern times; Church doesn’t seem to make it easier. We want peace in our homes; we want to be holy families. But how can we get there if we can’t even get into our cars to drive to church without fighting over something or another? To compound matters, what the Church offers to us as a model seems impossible to imitate. Have we not forgotten that the members of the Holy Family are a tough act to follow: we have Saint Joseph, the saint; the Blessed Virgin Mary who is immaculately conceived; and of course, Jesus, who is the Son of God, God incarnate. Are we crazy to think that we can emulate them? Yet, Pope Saint John Paul II thinks we can: “The Holy Family is the beginning of countless other holy families.”

So how is the Holy Family the beginning of other holy families? What can we learn from this family? We are still in the Christmas mood and it’s easy to get wrapped up in the peace that permeates the Nativity of our Lord, but it’s important for us to remember that very soon after the birth of our Saviour in the manger in Bethlehem, the Holy Family’s life turned topsy-turvy again. The peace and stillness of the stable is brought to an abrupt end with the news that Herod is in search of Jesus, and plans to kill him. Joseph takes Mary and Jesus by night on a journey to safety in Egypt. Already homeless in Bethlehem, they now become refugees.

Perhaps one of the most striking messages of the story of Christmas then, is that family life doesn’t always run smoothly, faithfully following some perfect blueprint, even for this most special of families. Family life is tough. Family life is messy. And the Holy Family’s life was no exception. Right from the very beginning, there is struggle, hardship, and the need for extraordinary courage and endurance in the face of these difficulties. Many of us complain of impossible and painful challenges in our own families but how many of us can truly claim that we have faced the same kind of difficulties the Holy Family had experienced?

If we are to think of the Holy Family as any kind of model for family life, I would like to suggest that it is not to be found in the familiar picture-perfect portrait of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph standing in front of the manger but rather in stories that speak of crises. It is only during a crisis that the mettle of parenthood is tried, tested and proven. The Blessed Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph are model parents because of their fidelity to their vocation as parents to the new born child as well as to each other, a fidelity that was not compromised even during crises. They would have possessed the human virtues of courage, perseverance and patience. But more importantly, they were persons of faith who willingly and obediently cooperated with God’s grace. That is why we call them the “Holy Family” and not just the “perfect family.” When we turn to the Gospel we find a holy family, not a very normal one. The mother is a virgin and the father is not the biological father of the child. And they are not living in some ideal family setting but rather being hounded by a megalomaniac king. But this is the family God had chosen, the one whose care He had chosen to entrust His Son to.

Holiness is not about “keeping up appearances,” about giving the impression that all is well on the outside but hides the truth of rot festering on the inside. We all know too well that families can go horribly wrong and be anything but holy. It isn’t about feeling happy and having rosy memories. It is about love — the kind of love that is willing to suffer or die for the beloved. Saint Paul tells us that a family becomes holy in the same way as the community at Colossi becomes holy: through the working of the Holy Spirit. He emphasised the reciprocity of love: “bear with one another; forgive each other… Over all these clothes, to keep them together and complete them, put on love.” Love alone is the cord that holds the family together through all crises. And this takes place not merely on the human level, but also on a spiritual level as Saint Paul tells us, “never say or do anything except in the name of the Lord Jesus.” It is as though they have been clothed after baptism with the transforming virtues like compassion, humility, patience, gentleness and then everything is held together in unity by a belt which is Christ's love. Husband, wife, father, mother, children are all now ‘in Christ’ and that determines all the different relationships that make up their family life.

One wonders whether Saint Paul could have pointed to some perfect family in his congregation. Probably he would not have found one. No family is perfect, and no parents will be able to be as perfectly selfless as Mary and Joseph and no child would be as divinely innocent and obedient as Our Lord Jesus Christ. But every family is capable of love. Every family is capable of growing in faith. And for this, every family can emulate the life of the Holy Family.

Take Saint Joseph for example. Mary is often the focus of the Christmas story. But the lectionary has chosen for this year, Saint Joseph, as the model of parenthood. The example he gives is so contrary to the prevalent model of fatherhood in our modern society. Many families today suffer from the absent father. One can say that the crisis we see in families is largely due to the crisis of fatherhood, which is a crisis of manhood. But Saint Joseph gives us an example of manly courage, manly endurance and manly strength in the selfless service of others. He was the husband and father in the Holy Family, provider of food for the table, protector of the mother and child, mentor and teacher of his divine foster-son from childhood into manhood. Multiple times he received messages from God, and he obeyed. Rather than shirking his responsibility and pushing it to Mary, Saint Joseph assumed his vocation with great faith and courage. Pope Francis tells us, “faith sustained him amid the troubles of life.” The road to holiness requires constant discernment, listening for God’s voice, and a willingness to obey.

One could say the Holy Family was like a seminary. The word seminary means “seedbed.” In this regard, the family is the original seminary, where the seed of faith is first planted, nurtured, and eventually germinates. Little by little, couples can encourage each other in their journey to sainthood, families have the power to nurture faith in their children and lead them towards Christ. A holy family life, based on the foundation of fidelity, love and faith, can be a powerful means of evangelising and sanctifying our culture.

We can learn in the example of the Holy Family that, despite all our failures and difficulties, we too are called to become holy through living out God's word in the midst of our families. The Holy Family is holy because it is responsive to the demanding word of God spoken in the very trying circumstances of their daily lives. In an ordinary family, the members of the family may get frustrated with each other. They may occasionally argue. But ultimately, the members are called to love each other, support each other and forgive each other. They may not do it perfectly, but they will try to be holy. When they fail, Christ and the Church offers them the grace through the Sacraments to do better. What about your family? Despite your failures and imperfections, there is hope that your family can be like the Holy Family. Regardless of your family’s situation, there is hope for you. You are called to holiness. Holiness will look very different from one family to another. But the most powerful thing you can do is to daily entrust the health, healing, and holiness of your family to God.

A Man of Honour

Fourth Sunday of Advent Year A

The Christmas story that most Catholics know usually begins with the story of the Annunciation, where Mary is at the front and centre. Mary is the door by which God will enter the world and there would be no first Christmas or any Christmas, for that matter, if Mary had not agreed to be that door. But the gospel of Saint Matthew tells it a little differently. Saint Matthew’s Mary recedes into the twilight. Here the spotlight seems to be on Saint Joseph. Matthew’s infancy narrative presents Saint Joseph as a bridge, an important figure linking Jesus to Israel, in order to show that Jesus is the promised Messiah of the line of King David. Saint Joseph was “of the house and lineage of David” (Luke 2:4) and so Saint Paul rightly notes in the second reading that Jesus Christ, “according to the human nature he took, was a descendant of David” but then Saint Paul adds, “in the order of the spirit, the spirit of holiness that was in Him, was proclaimed Son of God in all His power through His resurrection from the dead.” Jesus, the Son of David is Israel’s long-awaited Messiah; but only after the Resurrection; after His total obedience unto death on the Cross, does He reveal Himself as “the Son of God in all His power,” something He was already in truth, from the beginning.  

It's interesting how Saint Joseph's life recapitulates the path of the Patriarchs, in particular the one who shared his name. That is why Saint Matthew is keen on showing that Saint Joseph mirrors the Old Testament patriarch Joseph – he receives visions in the form of dreams like the Joseph of old; he is forced to travel and ultimately leave the Promised Land and return to Egypt, much as the Patriarch Joseph was sold into slavery in Egypt. But Matthew doesn’t only use Saint Joseph in a nostalgic way to point to the past and as a sign of the fulfillment of the prophecies of old. Saint Matthew also wishes to show us that Saint Joseph prefigures the Church. He models the response that every Christian, both Jew and gentile, should give to Jesus.

Saint Joseph truly is the silent figure of the New Testament. There are no direct quotes of Saint Joseph recorded in the Bible. In a way, the silence of Saint Joseph teaches us a fundamental attitude to enter into deep prayer: silence. If we are constantly bombarded by noises then it is impossible to hear the Word of God, because the Holy Spirit speaks to us in the gentle breeze of silence. Also the silence of Saint Joseph teaches us that we must prove our authenticity not only by words, but also by our actions. What he did in his life for God speaks volumes. To appreciate him and his role in salvation, we need to examine today’s gospel passage.

Saint Joseph had just received the disturbing news that his betrothed is with child before they live together. Being betrothed in Jewish society is quite different from just being merely engaged in our modern society. When a couple became formally engaged declaring their intent before two witnesses, they were considered married as husband and wife.  After one year usually, the groom went to the home of the bride with great ceremony and brought her to his own home where they consummated the marriage and lived together as husband and wife.  As many men may have done in the situation, he could have reacted angrily with grounded suspicion of infidelity (a pregnant woman who had not consummated her marriage is a clear smoking gun) and put Mary through public humiliation, shame and even death. According to the Torah, Saint Joseph could have had Mary stoned to death for infidelity (Deuteronomy 22). So the discovery that Mary was now with child, not his own, would have incensed any man and driven him to murder. No one wants “soiled goods.”

But Saint Joseph was no ordinary man. Saint Matthew describes him as a “man of honour” or in other translations, “a just man” or a “righteous man.” The “righteous man” is the ideal Jewish man – the paragon of virtue, which meant that this man lived by God’s standard, sought to please Him in all things and kept the commandments of God to the hilt and emulated His love. So, Saint Joseph responds to this news in a “Christ-like” manner. Saint Joseph sacrifices himself, his pain, indignation, and shame, rather than cast it off onto Mary. But more was required of Saint Joseph by God, therefore the angelic visitation in a dream.

The Angel of the Lord appeared to Saint Joseph in a dream and revealed to him that Mary had conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, and commanded that he take Mary as his wife and Jesus as his own Son.  Mary is the fulfilment of the prophecy given by Isaiah in the first reading, “the maiden is with child and will soon give birth to a son whom she will call Emmanuel.” Without question or hesitation, Saint Joseph did as the angel commanded.  Here again, we see the important role of Joseph:  He is to take Jesus as his own Son and to name Him, thereby giving Him legal recognition and legal personhood. He conferred his illustrious lineage, being of the line of King David, unto this child which was not his own. He accepted the responsibility of his vocation and both protected and provided for the Holy Family. Throughout the gospel he faithfully and unquestioningly obeyed the commands of God:  taking his family to the safety of Egypt to flee the wrath of King Herod; returning to Nazareth; presenting his child in the Temple for circumcision and formal redemption as his first born; and traveling to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover. In a society where too many men shirk their obligations toward their wives, children, and family, Saint Joseph shines as a model of courage and fortitude. Faced with so many difficulties, Saint Joseph stood tall and confronted the obstacles with manly courage.

This gospel passage reveals to us the greatness of Saint Joseph’s heart and soul. He was following a good plan for his life, but God was reserving another plan for him, a greater mission. Saint Joseph was a man who always listened to the voice of God. He was deeply sensitive to the messages that came to him from the depths of his heart and from on high. He did not persist in following his own plan for his life. And he did not allow bitterness to poison his soul. Rather he was ready to make himself available to the news that, in such a bewildering way, was being presented to him. Saint Joseph is an example of what true freedom looks like. By surrendering himself to God’s design for his life, Saint Joseph found himself. His freedom to renounce even what was his, the possession of his very life, and his full interior availability to the will of God to the point of accepting humiliation, challenge us and show us the way.

Tradition holds that Saint Joseph died before Jesus began His public ministry and that he died in the presence of Jesus and Mary.  For this reason, St. Joseph is the patron saint of a holy death.  It’s three days away from Christmas. Let us make ourselves ready to celebrate the birth of our Lord, the King of Kings, by contemplating Mary and Joseph: the Blessed Virgin Mary, the woman full of grace who had the courage to entrust herself totally to the Word of God, the woman who was the door by which God entered this world; and Saint Joseph, the faithful and just man, the bridge that linked the promise made to Israel to its fulfilment in the new covenant; the man who chose to believe the Lord rather than listen to the voices of doubt and human pride. Let us walk together with them toward Bethlehem.