Remember me at the altar of the Lord

Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed 2021

Most of us have a myopic view of reality, we often only see the small picture and are oblivious to the bigger one. This is a drastic mistake as it often translates into bad decisions, despair or at the other extreme, false optimism. The same could be said about the average person’s view of the Church. For most of us, church refers to, the physical building in which we worship and to the more enlightened, the community of believers of Jesus Christ spread out throughout the world. In the latter understanding of the Church, we often only remember the living members and never the dead.

But traditionally, the Church sees itself as a “bigger tent” - of both the living and the dead. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains how there are “three states of the Church … at the present time some of his disciples are pilgrims on earth. Others have died and are being purified, while still others are in glory, contemplating ‘in full light, God himself triune and one, exactly as he is'” (CCC 954). Traditionally, these three states have been referred to as the Church Militant, Church Penitent (also known as Church Suffering or Church Expectant) and Church Triumphant. Together, these three make up the Communion of Saints which we profess in the Creed.

In our eagerness to eulogise the dead, we often end up with the mistake of neglecting our duty of praying for the souls in Purgatory, the members of the Church Penitent or Church Suffering. For if our loved ones are already in heaven, they have no need of our prayers. Instead, we pray to those who are in heaven, the Saints, and ask for their intercession. Our funeral Masses would then be redundant since we can already start celebrating the death of our departed brother and sister as a feast.

If you find this ridiculous and even irreverent, then there is still hope. You’ve not entirely lost your Catholic sensibility. The idea of funerals and this particular day in the year, specifically set aside for praying for the dead, is premised on the belief that not all persons who die will immediately go to heaven. In fact, for the vast majority of us, we would most likely be in Purgatory, even if we have lived a fairly good but far from perfect life.

Of course, many people believe that by thinking or speaking of their loved ones in purgatory would mean sullying their memory. This is based on the belief that purgatory is often seen as some kind of negative judgment on the deceased - that the person was far from perfect, that he or she had feet of clay. But rather than a negative judgment, our belief that souls are being purified in purgatory is a positive judgment and one of hope. It means that though persons may not be perfect, there is still hope of their redemption in the ongoing work of God. As St Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans which we heard in the Second Reading, this hope “is not deceptive, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.” It is a hope not based on human merits but the result of the sacrifice of Christ who “died for sinful men.”

Thus, the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains that “all who die in God’s grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven” (CCC 1030). Souls in purgatory are destined for heaven! Once a soul is purified in purgatory, the baggage of sin and earthly attachments are gone, and they are able to love as God loves and enter into eternal union with Him.

Many of us live with the guilt of not having done enough for our departed loved ones when they were alive. We want to make it up to them but death has robbed us of the opportunity to do so, or that is what we think. In his “Confessions,” St Augustine remembers his mother dying and his brother expressing his concern to St Monica that she would die outside of Rome, rather than in her native country in Africa. St Monica looked at her sons, and said: “Bury my body wherever you will; let not care of it cause you any concern. One thing only I ask you, that you remember me at the altar of the Lord wherever you may be.” Monica was not concerned about the location or ostentatiousness of her tomb. She had only one wish, that her son, now an ordained priest, should offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for the eternal repose of her soul.

We, too, should make praying for the dead a priority, since it is an act of mercy and love for those who can no longer purify themselves through their growth in the virtues here on earth. This is what our departed loved ones need from us - not stirring and moving eulogies nor memorials, tributes and imposing tombs. If our departed loved ones could speak from beyond the grave, we would most likely hear something similar to what St Monica had requested from her sons, “One thing only I ask you, that you remember me at the altar of the Lord wherever you may be.” For those who feel guilty for not having done their best for their loved ones before their death, this is an opportunity to make up for lost time and effort. This too, is what the Lord desires of us. The Lord in His patience, desires salvation for all and that we love as He loves.

The Church encourages you, therefore, to seek indulgences, pray novenas, fast, make sacrifices and have Masses said for the deceased, especially for those who have no one to pray for them. These acts of charity will increase the love of God in your heart and soul and help those who have gone before us in death. As St Ambrose reminds us, “we have loved them in life, let us not forget them in death.”