Love is Sacrificial and Life-giving

Solemnity of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph

If Bill Gates had heard God’s promise to Abraham in the first reading, that Abraham would be blessed by God with descendants as numerous as the “stars in heaven,” he would be appalled and would have decried that God is plotting a global catastrophe. Many like Bill Gates are promoters of this massive lie - a population explosion equals global overcrowding and would eventually lead to widespread famine, hunger and immeasurable human misery. In other words, a child is not a blessing or a gift from God. In fact, a child is seen as a liability, a curse, an additional burden to a world already laden with all sorts of heartaches, suffering and scarcity of resources.

But today’s readings remind us that children are indeed a gift to all families as the Christ-child was a gift to the Holy Family. Today we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. The celebration reminds us of the importance of family through the lens of faith. Mary and Joseph bring the infant Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem to present their firstborn son to the Lord. The very act of presenting Jesus is a thanksgiving to the Father for the gift of their son. They recognise that Jesus is a gift, as is every child, spouse and parent. The ritual expresses their gratitude.

And then we have two elderly individuals, who not only appreciated the value of life, but had lived lives fully immersed in God. They had both dedicated the remainder of their years to worshipping God in the Temple. Simeon and Anna likewise give thanks to God when they encounter this child. They recognise in the child Jesus the dawn of salvation.

 

In his canticle of praise, Simeon says: “Now, Master, you can let your servant go in peace, just as you promised; because my eyes have seen the salvation which you have prepared for all the nations to see, a light to enlighten the pagans and the glory of your people Israel.” Simeon sees something in this child. This blind old man sees with the eyes of faith and recognises that this child is the hope and salvation of the world.

At the conclusion of this gospel passage, we are told that the Holy Family returns to their own town of Nazareth where “the child grew to maturity, and he was filled with wisdom; and God’s favour was with him.” It is in these so-called “hidden years” that the life of the family is central to our Lord and His mission. He is being prepared for His public ministry and for the ultimate act of love – His passion, death and resurrection. This is alluded to what Simeon says to Mary, “You see this child: he is destined for the fall and for the rising of many in Israel, destined to be a sign that is rejected – and a sword will pierce your own soul too – so that the secret thoughts of many may be laid bare.” As our Lord grows as a person, He learns how to love in sacrificial ways as did Mary and Joseph. We can see in the life of the Holy Family, how an example of sacrificial love shown by parents can determine the future of their children. The key to family life is not just love, but sacrificial love.

Most of us think we know a lot about love. But the truth of the matter is that we live in a world short on love.  Today, love is too often understood as romantic sentimentality rather than unbreakable commitment. But sentimentality is unsatisfying.  Material things, and comfort, and pleasure bring only fleeting happiness.  

 Love—real love—is about sacrifice, and redemption, and hope.  Real love is at the heart of a rich, full life.  Real love is at the heart of the Holy Family. Just like the Holy Family, we were made for this real and sacrificial love. And all that we do—in our lives, our careers, and our families especially—should be rooted in our capacity for real, difficult, unfailing love.

But today, our culture rejects love when it rejects suffering and pain, when it rejects the sacrifice of the Cross. We want all the benefits and privileges that come with marriage, but we are not prepared to pay the necessary costs, we are not ready to make the necessary sacrifices to live that life to the fullest. This is the reason why contraception and abortion are so rampant. 

If love entails sacrifice, then children will always be regarded as a blessing, the fruit of that love. But this is not what the world tells us. Our culture often teaches us that children are more a burden than a gift—that families impede our freedom and diminish our finances.  We live in a world where large families are the objects of spectacle and derision, instead of the ordinary consequence of a loving marriage entrusted to God’s providence.  But children should not be feared as a threat or a burden, but rather seen as a sign of hope for the future. 

St John Paul II wrote that our culture suffers from a “hedonistic mentality unwilling to accept responsibility in matters of sexuality, and… a self-centred concept of freedom, which regards procreation as an obstacle to personal fulfilment.”  Generous, life-giving spousal love is the antidote to hedonism and immaturity: parents gladly give up frivolous pursuits and selfishness for the intensely more meaningful work of loving and educating their children. Although it may seem to selfish immature parents that children actually bring to an end the romantic phase of their marriage, children actually challenge the couple’s love to grow and flourish. Children challenge a couple to embrace others beyond the two. 

A family thus shows us that man is called to a fullness of life which far exceeds the dimensions of his earthly existence, because it consists in sharing the very life of God.  The sexual intimacy of marriage, the most intimate kind of human friendship, is a pathway to sharing in God’s own life.  It is a pathway to the fullness of our own human life; it is a means of participating in the incredible love of God.  When God gave man and woman the ability to have sexual intercourse, He tied it with the ability to procreate. This is the reason why the Church teaches against the use of contraception. Contraception is a selfish act and never the product of love. Contraception not only breaks the ties between the sexual act and procreation but also impedes our share in God’s creative love.  Cut off from God, man can never experience true lasting joy.

Joy seems to be in short supply these days, with multiple things to worry about. The rise in the cost of living, the uncertainty of our economic and political future, the anxiety that comes with having to navigate unchartered territory especially in these times of a pandemic may seem daunting to any family, what more newly married couples. And I guess, most parents would say, “I’m not sure if I want to bring another child into a world like this.” Let’s be honest, I’m not sure whether we are truly altruistic when thinking about the future welfare of our children or we are just selfishly not willing to make the necessary sacrifices for them.

But on this Feast of the Holy Family, the Church challenges us with this question: Do we let fear, anxiety, selfishness, or worry determine the size of our families? Do we entrust ourselves to the Lord, whose generosity provides for all of our needs? Can we see our children as gifts from God? If we have any doubts about this, let us turn to the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. May our families be always guided by their example of sacrificial love.