Love them anyway

Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time Year C

One of the most life-changing quotes that I have carried with me in my arsenal of pithy sayings, something I’ve treasured all these years as a priest is this personal piece of advice I received from the late Fr Phillips Muthu: “Mike, there are no troublemakers in this world. Only people needing to be loved.” What a refreshing new lens? Such an important reminder especially when I’m confronted with someone annoying, insolent, rude and incorrigible. Just at the very moment I’m tempted to blow my top and lash out, this quote brings me back from falling off the precipice of cool-headed sanity: “Mike, there are no troublemakers in this world. Only people needing to be loved.”

Today, our Lord provides us with the new benchmark of how we should treat others, even to those who seem to be undeserving of civility because they have shown none, even to those who appear to have mistreated us. “Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate.”

The formulation of this statement shows us that compassion is not dependent on reciprocity. It has nothing to do with a kind of quid pro quo - be nice to people who are nice to you. Rather, we are held to a higher standard, which is that of God’s. This is why the acid test of being a Christian is not found in how well we treat our friends or how well we repay those who have been good to us, but is to be found in this simple and yet tremendously challenging act which our Lord sets out at the start of today’s teaching: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly.”

But this still begs the question - what does it mean to be compassionate? Most people think that being compassionate means being kind and showing sympathy, but there is something deeper, something even more profoundly powerful, in its meaning. The origin of the word helps us grasp the true breadth and significance of compassion. In Latin, ‘compati’ means “suffer with.” Compassion means someone else’s heartbreak becomes your heartbreak. Another’s suffering becomes your suffering. It was the German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer who wrote: “We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.” True compassion changes the way we live.

But it is not just any compassion which we must exhibit. Our Lord pegs the standard at a divine level - our compassion must be in imitation of the Heavenly Father. Our scriptures are filled with references to a God who is loving and compassionate. In fact, compassion seems to be another synonym for God. The Psalmist sings of God’s compassion: “The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion” (Psalm 116:5).

But most of you would protest that expecting us to behave like God is asking the impossible from us - an impossibly high and unreasonable standard, which no one can ever hope to achieve. Once someone complained to me that it is so hard to forgive those who have wronged her, and I immediately pointed out that Jesus forgave His enemies whilst hanging from the cross. She retorted: “But Jesus is God! I’m not!” She has a point there.

And so, our Lord, after having laid down the divine standard of compassion, continues to list out several practical examples of the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is a simple principle of reciprocity that is found in almost all world religions, philosophies and cultures - “do unto others what you want others to do unto you” or its inverse, “do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.” The connexion between our Lord’s saying on compassion and that of the Golden Rule is easy to understand because compassion asks us to look into our own hearts, discover what gives us pain, and then refuse, under any circumstances whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.

But notice that the few instances of the Golden Rule which our Lord cites is different from that general principle: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged yourselves; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned yourselves; grant pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give, and there will be gifts for you.” It is obvious that the Lord is not promising nor asking us to expect that our actions will be reciprocated by others. We have no guarantee of this. The reward which our Lord promises will come from God rather than from man. This frees us to show compassion, love, kindness, mercy and generosity to others without expecting any payment in return from those who are our beneficiaries because we are confident that God is holding the credit note which He will honour one day. And therefore, St Peter’s advice should be the normative way we should behave as Christians: “finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (1 Peter 3:8).

It is good to revisit the words inscribed on the wall of one of the homes established by the saint of the slums, Mother Teresa:

“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centred;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway,

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”

So, the next time you encounter a difficult, rude and cantankerous person, "love them anyway."